Father’s Day vs. Mother’s Day: Do dads get gypped? Or is it a tie?

Ties, the traditional Father's Day gift, soon becomes a collection. | Larry Ruehl~Sun-Times Media

Updated: July 18, 2012 6:16AM

Do dads get the short end of the stick when it comes to their day?

Or, with a nod to those hitting the golf course for Father’s Day, are they on par with moms?

Depends whom one asks. We checked with retailers and restaurateurs, and surveyed Southlanders, too, getting mixed answers.

Mother’s Day does dwarf Father’s Day when it comes to spending. Americans were expected to shell out $12.7 billion for Father’s Day, compared with $18.6 billion for Mother’s Day, according to the National Retail Federation. Talk about your deficits.

Some of the money is spent on greetings cards, of course, and it’s in the cards for dads to lose to moms there, too. Father’s Day is the fourth-biggest card-sending holiday (94 million), but Mother’s Day is third (133 million). The leader is Christmas, followed by Valentine’s Day — the latter of which just may contribute to folks eventually becoming moms and dads.

From cards to cooking duties, not much changes, as dads get raked over the coals. The U.S. Census Bureau says there are 67.8 million fathers, and the 23rd Annual Weber GrillWatch Survey says 53 percent of them will be grilling on Father’s Day.

By comparison, moms get a break in the kitchen on Mother’s Day.

“We had a pretty good booking for Mother’s Day, definitely a full day,” said Dave Lynch, manager of Jack Gibbons Garden, a steak house in Oak Forest. “Father’s Day is always much slower. I think because fathers tend to want to stay home and cook and golf, you know, do ‘guy things,’ like watch baseball or NASCAR.”

Ditto at Tin Fish in Tinley Park. Bartender Sarah Maslowski said the restaurant had triple the number of Mother’s Day reservations as it does Father’s Day holdings.

“My only guess is that moms are the ones usually waiting on everybody, so Dad feels like he should take them out to eat,” Maslowski said.

Of course, Mother’s Day is huge for florists. That got us thinking about Father’s Day bouquets, but a quick call to Mitchell’s Florist in Orland Park nipped that thought in the bud.

“On the whole, unfortunately, fathers have to be dead to get flowers on Father’s Day. It’s not quite like Mother’s Day,” a clerk said.

Ouch.

But spending doesn’t define “special,” Southlanders say. Dads aren’t forgotten; they’re just remembered in different ways.

Oak Forest High School graduate Christine LaPorte, of San Diego, flew home for a special Father’s Day celebration with her dad, Chuck. She, Dad, and her mother, Donna, all planned to go to New York to see younger sister Rachel act in a play.

“This is the first Father’s Day that both my sister and I will be here with him in years,” she said.

Does she think Dad gets gypped?

“Absolutely not,” LaPorte said. “My sister and I treat our father like a king on Father’s Day. I baked him oatmeal raisin cookies, his favorite. Now I’m shopping for a gift, maybe a pair of pants. We do what he wants, get him what he wants. Dads don’t have as great an expectation as moms do.”

Donna LaPorte said she prefers gifts of time for Mother’s Day: Spending time together doing something, or even getting help with her smart phone from her daughters is her definition of a gift.

Father’s Day, Christine said, is every day.

“That’s what he likes to say,” she said with a laugh.

Looking back, she is appreciative of how her parents attended countless games and practices and school events for herself and her sister in grade school and high school.

“As a teacher now, I see students who are not supported by their parents. I feel my sister and I were so lucky growing up,” she said. “The thing about my dad is he worked his whole life to support his family. He does everything for us, to give us whatever we needed. He’s very loving and supportive.”

Jenny Smith, of Homer Glen, said her dad, Rick, also gets treated pretty well on Father’s Day.

“He works really hard to pay for our schooling and we appreciate that,” she said.

Shelby Curtis, also of Homer Glen, said her dad buys his own Father’s Day gift, which is why he came home with a motorcycle.

That certainly takes away the hassle of shopping. Maybe more Dads should follow that lead?

Tammy Pritchard, of Channahon, while shopping with her two preschoolers, said she thinks dads get better treatment.

“Moms put more thought into gifts. Dad just gets flowers on his way home,” she said. “But that’s OK; I don’t want him to spend a lot of money. But it seems Dad does get an easy out.”

What was she getting her husband?

“We’ll have special photos taken. That will be a surprise,” she said.

Homewood resident Mike Bridges said holiday habits “depend on the family.”

“I know I treat my mom a little better on Mother’s Day than I do dad on Father’s Day,” Bridges said.

Cathy Zon, of Joliet, laughed when asked if moms get better treatment on their day.

“We moms get treated royally. Dads are kind of taken for granted,” Zon said. “I told my (two college-age) kids that Sunday is Father’s Day. They had no idea. Dad just doesn’t get the grandeur that Mom gets. I’m here now, ‘What am I gonna get my husband?’ ”

She wondered aloud whether the pair of running shoes she recently bought for him counts.

“It’s always something practical,” she said.

Randy Brittman, of Harvey, shopping with his wife Cassidy Brittman and their three children, said without hesitation, “Moms get way better treatment. It seems like all the restaurants are packed. Flowers, cards. All men get is some funky cologne.”

Cassidy, not happy with her husband’s answers, offered this explanation: “Maybe that’s because we had the kids. We went through all the pain and suffering.”

Perhaps wanting to see Father’s Day 2013, Randy took that as his cue to zip it.

Show / Hide Comments