Carpe Weekend: American mouths are blinking
By Jason Freeman firstname.lastname@example.org March 14, 2012 1:22PM
Updated: May 9, 2012 10:21AM
I’ve always loved the St. Patrick’s Day concept of becoming Irish for a day.
What if we somehow could apply this transfigurative ability to other aspects of life? Wouldn’t it be great?
The next time your car throws a rod, just become a mechanic for a day instead of paying someone else an entire paycheck to fix it.
The next time a Chicago Bears game happens to fall on a Sunday you’re scheduled to work, just become sick for a day.
Sure, you’d be genuinely ill, but at least you’d be able to see quarterback Jay Cutler get sacked from the comfort of your own couch.
Late for work? No problem. Just become a mallard for a day and fly to your job quicker than a Nolan Ryan fastball.
I’m not sure how you’d actually perform said job with a beak and two wings, but at least you’d be at work on time.
Do bill collectors have your number on speed dial? Just become rich for a day and pay off all your debts.
Of course, none of this will ever happen. Except, of course, on St. Patrick’s Day, when apparently everyone becomes Irish for a duration of 24 hours.
For a select few, St. Patrick’s Day is genuinely about celebrating Irish heritage.
For most people, myself included, it’s just the second-most popular day in which to get stammering drunk (New Year’s Eve, I’m looking at you, too).
On St. Patrick’s Day my Irish eyes aren’t smiling, but only because I’m not an Irishman, no matter how hard I try to morph into one.
But my American mouth is blinking, simply because it keeps opening and closing around the tip of a cold bottle of Guinness.
If you’re in the same boat, congratulations! Like me, you’ve just become drunk for a day.
CD&ME, 23320 S. LaGrange Road, Frankfort, will host its Sham Rockin’ Comedy and Dinner Show at 6:30 p.m. March 16.
The event will begin with dinner from 6:30 to 8 p.m., followed by a comedy show at 8 p.m. featuring James Wesley Jackson and Denise Ramsden.
The evening will conclude with a live performance by Johnny and Coax from 9:30 p.m. to midnight.
Tickets are $35 per person and include a traditional Irish dinner of corned beef and cabbage, boiled potatoes and carrots, rye and Irish soda bread, tossed salad, coleslaw, dessert and coffee, tea or soda. A cash bar also will be available.
Reservations are required, and seats are limited.
Information: (815) 469-7315, cdandme.com.
St. Patrick’s Day Luncheon
Chicago Gaelic Park, 6119 W. 147th St., Oak Forest, will host its St. Patrick’s Day Luncheon at 11 a.m. March 17.
The event will feature a lunch of corned beef and cabbage at noon, followed by music and dancing until 3 p.m.
The cost is $25 and includes lunch and entertainment. A cash bar also will be available.
Joe Cullen will perform Irish tunes, and the Cross Keys School of Irish Dance will put on an exhibition of Irish step dancing.
Reservations are required. Information: chicagogaelicpark.org, (708) 687-9323.