Stay-At-Home Dad: Overused phrases of the stay-at-home dad
By Howard A. Ludwig September 20, 2012 10:10AM
Updated: October 24, 2012 6:17AM
On days when I desperately need a laugh, I’ll call a buddy, watch a funny movie or check a few websites. Recently, I’ve also been turning to Twitter.
Twitter isn’t for everyone. However, there are a few people who are truly skilled at putting their thoughts into 140 characters or less. Pulling off a joke in this short space is even more difficult. But when done correctly, it’s hilarious.
One of my favorite humorous accounts is (stuff)girlssay — only it’s not really “stuff.” The authors of this Twitter feed post commonly heard phrases from the fairer sex. A few recent favorites include:
“I just ate the most amazing peach.”
“Sometimes you just know.”
“I’m excited to wear layers again.”
It’s rare that one of these Tweets doesn’t elicit a smile. That being said, I realize I do the same thing. As a stay-at-home dad, I say stupid stuff all the time.
I compiled some of my most overused and inane phrases last week. Here’s my version of (stuff)stay-at-home dads say:
“I love naptime.”
“I need to check the school’s website.”
“We had that for dinner LAST night.”
“I don’t know his/her parents. I know the baby sitter.”
“Are there any food allergies I need to know about?”
“I forgot the coupons, again.”
“Be careful not to spill.”
“I couldn’t live without my iPhone.”
“I like that brand of diapers.”
“Are you working late tonight?”
“Try sounding it out.”
“I just need 5 minutes.”
“It’s so much easier with just one kid.”
“Love that place.”
“Let me go home and check my calendar.”
“I can’t sleep in anymore.”
“How did you get a stain on your new shirt?”
“We have a lot going on today.”
“Put that down.”
“What kind of Band-Aids do you want?”
“I’m not mad.”
“Just try your best.”
“Use your words.”
“We need to take baths tonight.”
Writing down some of the more oddball stuff I said throughout the week was eye-opening. I realized how often I sound like a real dope. I also realized that, when taken in short snippets, everyone sounds pretty dopey.
Howard A. Ludwig is a former SouthtownStar business writer who traded his reporter’s notepad for a diaper bag, becoming a stay-at-home dad.
He can be reached at email@example.com.