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Stay-At-Home Dad: Parenting defined, one word at a time

Updated: August 8, 2013 6:14AM



The dictionary is an evolving publication. Words are added and dropped each year.

With that in mind, I have a few suggestions that I think would be helpful for parents.

Some of these entries are new words for things I often do or use but have no way to define. Others are alternate definitions for existing words.

All of this is in an effort to be a better parent ...

It’s probably best to simply provide examples. Here are a few things I’d like to see added to the dictionary:

muddle: noun 1. a small puddle that’s saturated with mud, esp. of rainwater on the ground: Peter stay out of that muddle. You’re wearing your good shoes.

rebag: verb (rebags, rebagging, rebagged) 1. to reuse a decorative bag given to your child on his or her birthday: Think Michelle will notice if I rebag this gift for her son’s birthday?

blooder: noun 1. an informal term for a bloody nose: Dad, I’ve got a blooder. Bring a towel! ORIGIN early 21st cent.: term coined by Peter V. Ludwig (2006 — present), a frequent nosebleed sufferer.

crumbs: noun 1. small pieces of food and dirt that stick to your feet while walking barefoot through the house: We’ve got to sweep this floor. I keep stepping on crumbs. 2. remnants left in the toilet after the first flush: Bubba, flush the toilet again. You left a bunch of crumbs.

convenient jam: noun 1. an opportune traffic jam occurring at naptime: After swimming we got stuck in a convenient jam. Everyone in the back seat fell sound asleep.

iSitter: noun 1. the use of an iPad, iPod or other personal electronic device as a last-minute distraction: I resorted to the iSitter so I could finish washing the boys’ bedding on Saturday.

crunchpet: noun 1. the rough piece of carpeting leftover after cleaning a particularly ugly spill or mess: I sopped up the puke from last night, but there’s still a nasty section of crunchpet.

staging hour: noun 1. the period of time before children wake up each morning: I like to have a cup of coffee and read the paper during the staging hour.

late over: noun 1. a play date held in the evening hours, modeled after a sleepover but instead of spending the night children go home about 9 p.m.: Have David wear his pajamas and bring a sleeping bag for the late over on Saturday night.

shrapnel: noun 1. a mass of broken crayons, chewed pencils and dried markers: I went through the art supply box today and got rid of all the shrapnel.

quick rinser: noun 1. a shower given by a handheld sprayer, alt. to a bath: We need to take a quick rinser to wash off the bug spray.

These are a few words we use around our house. I’m sure other families have their own unique terms and phrases. I just think it would be helpful to add these words to the dictionary. That way we’d all know what we’re talking about.

Now I have to wrap up this column. The staging hour is almost over, and I want to give the boys a quick rinser after breakfast.

Howard A. Ludwig is a former SouthtownStar business writer who traded his reporter’s notepad for a diaper bag, becoming a stay-at-home dad.

He can be reached at howardaludwig@yahoo.com.



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