Kadner: A workshop for parents: ‘Lessons from Penn State’

• Reprints

Jerry Sandusky

Updated: February 10, 2012 8:34AM

If you see a grown man sexually molesting a little child in a shower stall, stop it.

It seems to me that’s the message of the Penn State scandal, but Dan Skoczylas believes there are other lessons that adults need to learn to protect their children.

Skoczylas, a private investigator who operates CLS Background Investigations in Lockport, is hosting a free workshop called “Protecting Our Children: Lessons Learned From the Penn State Crisis” in the Homer Town Hall, 16057 Cedar Road, at 7 p.m. Jan. 16.

In addition to Skoczylas, presenters will include Jack O’Malley, a former special agent for the U.S. Customs Service in Chicago who specialized in Internet child pornography investigations, and Frank Cservenyak, a personal injury attorney with Rathbun, Cservenyak Kozol LLC.

“After the revelations about Jerry Sandusky (the former assistant football coach at Penn State), I thought it was important for parents and those responsible for youth programs to have a better understanding of how to spot child pedophiles,” Skoczylas said. “I also think it’s important for people in authority to know what their responsibilities and potential liabilities are in such situations.”

I asked Skoczylas for a general description of the sort of advice he would offer to people attending his seminar.

“If an adult coach shows up at your door with a teddy bear for your child’s 8th birthday, that’s not cute,” Skoczylas said. “It’s sick.”

“And I would suggest immediately confronting that person and telling him you consider his behavior inappropriate and unacceptable. When confronted, most pedophiles will go away. They’re afraid of confrontation.”

I have to admit I hate the idea that any adult who shows compassion or interest in a child, especially a child who is neglected at home, is automatically viewed as a potential pedophile.

But I also realize this is the world we live in.

From my experience as a reporter, however, I would like to stress that many pedophiles are identified early by other adults but protected by them for the sake of some institution’s reputation — be it a church, a school or a youth organization.

Most of these organizations rely heavily on donations, and the last thing they want is bad publicity. Better that a few children be abused in secret than their organization be exposed to public ridicule or lawsuits.

That seems to have been the case at Penn State and at almost every other institution where a scandal erupted.

The cover-up exposes more children to harm, but the good folks who keep their mouths shut never go to prison, although in my opinion they are accomplices in the crime.

Perhaps the approach by Skoczylas makes more sense than mine.

Put fear into people that they could get sued for lots of money if they allow abuse to continue without reporting it, and maybe they will be more worried about their liability than their reputations.

Maybe. But history and human nature tell me that’s not going to happen.

Skoczylas warned that single mothers should also be aware that pedophiles may target them to get at their children.

“They’ll start dating a woman with an 8-year-old child and wait for two years until that child reaches their target age of 10,” he said. “Pedophiles are very patient. There’s research to prove it. So women need to be aware of that when they’re dating.”

Great. So a woman who finds a guy who actually likes kids and might even marry her because she has children has to doubt whether she’s doing the right thing.

Again, I get it. But there might actually be some guys out there who just enjoy playing with children. Evil! That’s what they are.

As for the Internet, there’s no doubt that pedophiles have discovered it’s a wonderful place to recruit victims.

Law enforcement agencies all over the country have launched investigations and made arrests, but that doesn’t stop the pedophiles from returning again and again.

I hope this seminar provides some useful advice to people instead of just scaring them.

I think most parents today are well aware of the dangers their children face.

What surprises me is how often other parents, like the good men who worked at Penn State, are willing to ignore the obvious to protect their backsides. These people, who are usually respected and in positions of authority, rationalize their behavior.

I say start putting those folks, the enablers, in prison, and the pedophiles would be identified much earlier.

Future victims, perhaps your children, would be protected.

But I’m no expert.