Kadner: Bizarre book on sex forces girls coach to quit
Phil Kadner firstname.lastname@example.org | (708) 633-6787 August 31, 2012 8:24PM
Updated: October 3, 2012 6:18AM
Bryan Craig was a girls basketball coach at Rich Central High School, is a bouncer at a gentleman’s club and considers himself an expert on sex and relationships.
He has written a self-published book, “It’s Her Fault,” that’s available on Amazon.com and contains very graphic descriptions about women’s private parts, a subject on which he apparently considers himself something of an expert.
He categorizes these private parts by ethnicity (white, Latino, black) and their degrees of “hotness.” Sex with Latino women with a condom, he writes, is hotter than sex with any other type without.
And if a man engages in sex with a Latino woman without a condom, he writes, “you do the math.” I can’t do the math, but I think I get the point.
Most of the book seems to be oversimplified generalities about male/female relationships. More sex makes for better long-term stability in marriage, knowing what men and women want from a sexual relationship can avoid frustration and disappointment later and men tend to lie to women a lot.
Amazon.com writes, “Bryan Craig is a counselor. He is skilled in individual and relationship counseling and has finally decided to put some of his expertise to paper in order to help women and men alike find and sustain successful relationships.
“Bryan lives in Illinois with his wife and children, where he continues to help people utilize their own power to foster positive relationships.”
Craig claims to have worked as a counselor at Mount Sinai Health Center in Chicago and the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services, where he contends that he told women how to control their relationships with men.
At one point in the book, Craig recommends establishing a relationship with someone who is a “sexual release,” for the sole purpose of having sex.
Make sure that person is “tough,” he writes, and if she’s not gratifying you enough, find someone else. The purpose of that relationship, he stresses, is solely for pleasure.
It’s important to know that as of Friday morning, Craig was a high school guidance counselor at Rich Central in Olympia Fields. Young girls went to his office every day seeking advice.
In addition, he was a girls basketball coach, responsible for molding character and inculcating values that would guide them later in life.
So here’s the question that has to be asked: Would you want your daughter being counseled or coached by the fellow who wrote “It’s Her Fault?” Even the title ought to give a parent pause.
After the SouthtownStar began questioning District 227 officials about Craig and a story appeared on our website, Supt. Donna Simpson Leak announced Friday evening that Craig had been placed on a paid administrative leave and had resigned as basketball coach.
Earlier in the day, when reporter Casey Toner asked Leak about Craig, she said he “has his constitutional right to free speech.” Leak told me she had been aware of the book and its content for about a week.
The fact is that while Craig has a free speech right, public employees have more limited rights than most other people. Court cases have established that they can’t say anything that would interfere with the normal operation of their employer’s business.
I would contend that Craig’s statements certainly interfere with the normal operation of the school’s business. Sometimes, regardless of the potential legal ramifications, you simply have to do what makes sense.
I would challenge any judge to read Craig’s book and say he has no reservations about him counseling high school girls.
I wonder if Leak has pondered the legal ramifications to the district of lawsuits filed by parents whose daughters have been counseled by Craig.
Disregarding all the sexual stereotypes and ethnic labeling in the book (which is impossible), the relationship advice reminds me of some codger dispensing street-corner wisdom about sex.
Craig seems to ignore the fact that people are emotionally and psychologically different from one another. He doesn’t seem to consider whether the sexual encounters he recommends might actually harm some people.
While Craig implies that he’s aiming his book at an adult market, it’s downright scary to contemplate how much of his philosophy he has imparted to teenagers over the years.
I cannot fathom why Craig would risk his job and reputation writing this stuff, but even more astounding was the lack of immediate action by District 227 administrators and board members.
They put young lives in the hands of this guy. And Craig isn’t the only one who should take a fall.