Direction for daughters: Flossmoor woman authors a guide for living
BY SUSAN DEMAR LAFFERTY email@example.com July 10, 2013 3:24PM
Karen Holman, of Flossmoor, talks about her book "What I Need to Tell My Daughter." | Brett Roseman~Sun-Times Media
Updated: August 12, 2013 6:03AM
Life wasn’t always easy for Karen Holman.
She often wished someone would have given her some insight and helped her understand what was going on in her life. She grew up with low self-esteem but learned from her mishaps and mistakes and discovered how to enjoy life.
“There were things I went through in life that troubled me, things I had to learn myself the hard way,” Holman said. In hopes of sharing with her daughters the things she had learned, she has published a book for all daughters, “What I Need to Tell My Daughters.”
It’s a book of insight and encouragement that could benefit everyone, but Holman focused on daughters because she was thinking about her own and knows that “every woman is a daughter,” she said.
“I enjoy writing. I write what I feel,” said the adjunct professor at Governors State University who conducts communications workshops. “Life was hard, but I made it through. If I went through it, maybe someone else is, too.”
Holman and her husband, Robert, teach marriage workshops through their church. They have three adult children, including two daughters — Karen’s daughter Briana, and her “bonus” stepdaughter Stephanie.
Holman wants daughters of all ages to enjoy life as much as they can. Her advice is simple.
“I didn’t want it to be sophisticated. I wanted it to be simple and easy. I want everyone to enjoy the book,” she said.
The 69-page paperback (available on Amazon) is filled with some familiar insights such as “treat people kindly,” “do the right thing whether you feel like it or not,” and “learn to forgive.” But she also writes, “enjoy other people,” “enjoy your uniqueness” and “enjoy each day.”
It also has many new ideas: “share your struggles and your victories,” and “practice self-affirmation.”
The book’s message is: “You can enjoy your life. You have to create your own beauty. It doesn’t matter what people say about you,” Holman said. “Life is short. Enjoy it.”
She hopes it will be a book that will be passed down through generations.
According to this Flossmoor author, life is not about waiting for something to make you happy, waiting for your first car or your first house. It is about enjoying the journey and celebrating the small victories along the way.
Holman, a former court reporter, kept several journals and used to write every day.
“I had a friendship that broke off and I started writing about it,” she said.
At that point, most of her writing tended to be sorrowful and negative, she said. She was able to turn it into something positive.
She tells daughters to be comfortable with who they are and face life’s challenges with a positive attitude.
“We have to realize our daughters are not us. They will do it their way,” Holman said. But her book, she believes, will give them insight and inspiration.
Her daughter Briana just “does things and asks questions” that spark ideas for Holman.
The book has been on her computer since 2008, but she didn’t publish it until this year, after she joined Speakers, Publishers and Authors Association, which meets at Prairie State College’s Matteson center at noon on the third Saturday of the month.
Holman joined SPAA to hone her public speaking skills, but SPAA also publishes books.
“SPAA is very energetic and focused. You are with a group of people who are going to the same place as you,” Holman said.
She promises there will be more books.
“My daughter is home from college. She presents opportunities,” Holman said. “I’ve started writing already.”