southtownstar.suntimes.com

Stay-At-Home Dad: Family minivan goes down a dead-end road

Fri, 10 May 2013 11:58:51 -0500

The primary vehicle of the Ludwig family — a 2000 Chrysler Grand Voyager — died last week at age 13. The blue-green minivan is survived by owners Howard Ludwig, The Wife and their two children, Bubba and Peter. The Grand Voyager died after colliding with a Subaru at the intersection of 111th Street and Harlem Avenue in Worth. The Subaru abruptly stopped for an ambulance. The Grand Voyager wasn’t so lucky. Howard Ludwig, the minivan’s sole passenger, was unharmed in the accident, as were the driver and passenger of the Subaru. The minivan was rushed to a body shop. With …

Stay-At-Home Dad: Family yoga outing filled with distractions

Sun, 05 May 2013 02:32:44 -0500

I’m not particularly flexible. I knew my physical limitations going into a recent family yoga class. I wasn’t nearly as aware of my rigid parenting style until that afternoon. The Wife signed us up for the family yoga class at the Beverly Yoga Center. The studio at 1917 W. 103rd St. on Chicago’s Southwest Side filled up quickly with about 20 parents and children. I haven’t been able to touch my toes since sixth grade. So I knew yoga was going to be a challenge. The Wife has attended classes at the BYC on and off for about a year. …

Stay-At-Home Dad: Parents go to great lengths to get kids into summer camp

Thu, 02 May 2013 08:57:27 -0500

I camped out for Lollapalooza tickets in 1994. The Beastie Boys headlined the show, along with The Smashing Pumpkins and The Black Crowes. The epic lineup was well worth spending four hours seated on the curb outside Coconuts Music. That was nearly two decades ago. I returned to a curbside seat last week. Only this time, I waited for one of five spots available in a summer camp for kids. Online registration for the Lil’ Campers program at Kennedy Park on Chicago’s Southwest Side filled up in one minute. I managed to secure a spot in the coveted morning session …

Stay-At-Home Dad: Bronzeville Children’s Museum not typical

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 02:43:01 -0500

Museums commonly are associated with learning. Exotic exhibits open our eyes to objects of historical significance. Well-thought-out displays teach onlookers about different cultures or scientific breakthroughs. Children’s museums don’t play by the same rules. I’ve been to countless children’s museums, and they are really just indoor playgrounds. Children are unleashed into a world of grocery stores stocked with plastic food, make-your-own-music stations and splash-ready water tables. The climate-controlled museums are a godsend during inclement weather. The hands-on displays keep kids busy and engaged. I don’t know how much learning goes on, but that’s not my reason for visiting. I thought …

Stay-At-Home Dad has answers for all those stupid questions

Wed, 15 May 2013 06:16:41 -0500

Stay-at-home dads remain a curiosity for some. For those still shocked by my chosen career, I tend to offer polite answers about why I decided to leave a full-time job to raise my two sons. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to give a wise-guy retort to questions I’ve heard countless times. That’s exactly what I plan to do with this column. It’s oozing sarcasm. So with apologies to “MAD” magazine, I offer my own version of “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions.” Do you enjoy being a stay-at-home dad? No. Spending time with these children is dreadful. Yesterday, my 6-year-old …

Stay-At-Home Dad: Joyous joust

Wed, 08 May 2013 06:16:56 -0500

As much as I like being called “my lord,” I equally dislike calling a waitress “wench.” And yet those are the rules at Medieval Times in Schaumburg. My family of four visited the castle perched beside Interstate 90 last week. The replica fortress is an impressive site. We were part of a group of 17 parents and children, all of us making our inaugural trip to the king’s court. Tickets aren’t cheap: $59.95 for adults and $35.95 for children 12 and younger. That doesn’t include tax, gratuity or a $4 online processing fee. We took advantage of a buy-one, get-one …

Stay-At-Home Dad: Grannies playing nannies

Wed, 01 May 2013 13:52:30 -0500

My 5-year-old son’s preschool lets out at 10:45 a.m. The cast of characters waiting for children as they come bolting out the door includes stay-at-home parents, nannies and grandparents. I’ve come to know many of these folks, chatting as we wait for the steel doors to open. It’s the grandparents I often find interesting. They’ve already raised one set of children and now they’re helping the next generation — usually for free. I spoke last week with several grandparents who regularly care for their grandchildren. They may not get to spoil the kids as much as they’d like, but the …

Stay-At-Home Dad: Bubba’s a little shaver

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 06:19:04 -0500

Bald boys kept showing up at my 6-year-old son’s elementary school this month. Everyone seemed to be participating in a St. Baldrick’s Foundation event, and Bubba eventually joined in. The California-based charity raises money for childhood cancer research. Participants shave their heads in exchange for pledges. It’s also a sign of solidarity with cancer-stricken children who typically lose their hair as a result of chemotherapy. Bubba had neither a pledge sheet nor a direct link to childhood cancer when he went bald last week. He simply needed a haircut and opted for the electric trimmer over scissors. He requested the …

Stay-At-Home Dad: Solitary confinement

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 06:15:53 -0500

The sign hanging on the door spoke volumes. The words “Keep Out” had been scrawled on a scrap of paper. The blue-lined paper was hastily taped to the highest point on the door that my 6-year-old son could reach. This was the marking of Bubba’s clubhouse. He’d taken over the spare bedroom, placing the sign on the door and filling the room with books, Pokémon cards and handheld video games. These actions were taken without prompting, causing me to question my boy’s motives. I was fairly certain he simply wanted to hide out and play video games. Such games are …

Stay-At-Home Dad: A few First World problems

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 06:19:23 -0500

My problems are paltry in the grand view of things. While people in less fortunate parts of the world struggle to find food and clean water, I complain about a broken child safety strap on my grocery cart. I’ve heard such complaints referred to as “First World problems.” These are gripes that people in developed countries have that people in less fortunate parts of the globe can’t fathom. For example, a children’s DVD that doesn’t allow the viewer to skip the previews — First World Problem. I realize I’m fortunate to live in the First World, yet things still irritate …

Stay-At-Home Dad: More bang for the puck

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 06:12:59 -0500

I love the Chicago Blackhawks. Tickets to Chicago Wolves games are simply cheaper. With that in mind, my two sons and I boarded a bus last weekend destined for a game between the Chicago Wolves and the Rockford IceHogs. Ironically, the IceHogs are the top affiliate of the Chicago Blackhawks. The Wolves are the top affiliate of the rival Vancouver Canucks. The men’s club at church organized the father-son outing. A game ticket, bus ride and signed souvenir puck cost $35 per person. The cost of three Wolves package tickets wouldn’t buy even a single seat in the same section …

Stay-At-Home Dad: Play date dos & don’ts

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 06:12:42 -0500

My two sons are officially on the play date circuit. At least twice a week, my 6- and 5-year-old boys are invited over to a friend’s house, or I host one of their buddies here. I attribute our packed play date schedule to winter hibernation. An indoor play date is a great way to occupy the time stuck inside. Bubba and Peter also seem to be at an age where play dates are more valuable. As toddlers, my boys seemed content having each other as pals. Regardless, I’ve noticed a few things while hosting and sending my kids off on …

Stay-At-Home Dad: Hunters turn gatherers

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 06:18:59 -0500

I have keen grocery shopping skills. I get great deals, avoid impulse buys and am able to build meals around sale-priced items. I’ve even exchanged Christmas cards with bakers and deli workers. Shopping for groceries and other household staples has traditionally fallen to stay-at-home moms. But new research has found the increasing number of stay-at-home dads in the aisles approach the task differently. The study of at-home dads made headlines last month when the Wall Street Journal pointed to its findings and stated, “Mr. Mom is dead.” But one of the finer points — on how stay-at-home dads have become …

Stay-At-Home Dad: Quality vs. quantity

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 06:13:25 -0500

I stumbled upon a theory last week called the Myth of Quality Time. The theory states that the concept of quality time as it pertains to childrearing is contrived. It’s the quantity of time that’s truly important, according to the online commenter presenting the theory. For example, five hours spent with children folding laundry and pulling weeds trumps a two-hour family outing to the local bowling alley. The theory struck a nerve. In my own experience, many of my most heartfelt parenting moments have come at the most mundane times. My 5-year-old son, Peter, tends to share his intimate thoughts …

Stay-At-Home Dad: Rest in peace, Mr. Mom

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 06:19:21 -0500

Stay-at-home dads everywhere danced on the grave of Mr. Mom last week. The celebration followed a story in the Wall Street Journal declaring “Mr. Mom is dead.” The term has long been considered disparaging among fathers, particularly those serving as full-time caregivers. At-home dads flooded social media with images of involved fathers under the banner “I am not Mr. Mom.” A campaign was launched to add “Mr. Mom” to the Lake Superior State University list of banished words. “Retarded,” “That’s gay” and “Whatsup?” are among the hundreds of words already on the list. A eulogy to Mr. Mom is scheduled …

Stay-At-Home Dad: A gift guide for guys

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 06:26:47 -0500

“Forget the stay-at-home dad stuff, Howie should write a column about giving gifts.” This suggestion came last week from The Wife’s friend and former co-worker. She had taken notice of the new coat I’d given my bride for Christmas. The year before, I had bought The Wife boots, which her friend had also remembered. I scored big with both presents. In fact, I’ve been on a pretty good run for the past four years. I’ve given some lousy gifts too, but I’ve learned from my mistakes. As Valentine’s Day approaches, I’ve decided to share the secrets of my recent success. …

Stay-At-Home Dad: Books that are bummers

Thu, 21 Feb 2013 06:16:52 -0500

Children’s books are typically cheery. “The Little Engine That Could” makes it over the hill. Max returns from “Where the Wild Things Are” to find his supper waiting for him — and it was still hot. But a few children’s books take a different path. Sad stories tell tales of loss or a world painted gray. Mary Adamowski and her staff in the youth services department of the Orland Park Public Library helped me compile a list of gloomy kids’ books. Here’s our list of bummer books: “The Giving Tree” by Shel Silverstein: Topping the list is this classic story …

Stay-At-Home Dad: Third place feels great

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 06:19:47 -0500

I can’t remember the last time I was so proud of my 6-year-old son. Last Sunday, Bubba won his final match of a youth wrestling tournament at Marist High School on Chicago’s Southwest Side. He pinned his opponent in the first round, securing third place in the 45-pound division. As his hand was raised, I beamed. We walked over to the scorer’s table, and Bubba was handed a medal. His jaw dropped and eyebrows arched as he showed me the hardware. “Third place, Dad!” he said, reacting as if he’d won a gold medal at the Olympics. My fingers and …