Arvia: Petty Driving Experience over too fast

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Pit Crude: Phil Arvia (left) takes gas can duty during the Richard Petty Driving Experience on Thursday at Chicagoland Speedway in Joliet. | Supplied photo.

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Updated: November 2, 2011 3:10AM

Jim Gardner looked ready to answer the question he’d just been asked with another.

Something along the lines of “Does the line cook at McDonald’s remember his first Quarter Pounder of the day?”

Only if it slid off the grill into the wall. And it is with pride that I report I slid not at all Thursday on the grill that was Chicagoland Speedway, where I drove a stock car during a Richard Petty Driving Experience media outing.

That Gardner, whom I followed around the 1.5-mile Joliet oval for eight laps, didn’t really remember my turn at the wheel shouldn’t be a surprise. There were 20-plus media types at the morning event, a corporate crowd to follow, and the Petty Driving Experience stages 700 race days per year at its various outposts. All those days and students allow Gardner to list his occupation as “race car driver” on his tax returns, but they don’t make it easy for any of the amateurs to distinguish themselves.

“You went first?” he said.

Yes, first with Gardner, right after WLS-TV’s Jim Rose hit the track.

“The first couple of my students were pretty good,” he said. “I maybe had to wait a little getting back on the gas.”

The two-seater stock cars we drove were capable of reaching about 170 mph. Turning laps while reaching those speeds with a professional driver before we drove was a little like hopping an amusement park ride, right down to the queasy stomach — especially in the 18-degree banked turns.

The goal for the student drivers was 140 mph, which is where our leader/instructors would take us if we stayed three car-lengths behind them, getting on and off the gas at the various designated cones around the track.

I topped out at 135, on two laps.

“That’s a solid B-plus,” Gardner said. “That’s generally about where we get people.”

And it’s miles from where the pros get.

My fastest lap was 46.9 seconds. The pro ride-alongs were turning 41s, and the winner of June’s Nationwide Series event, Justin Allgaier, was 10 seconds faster yet.

The Speedway folks wanted us to come out to help make potential customers aware of the Sept. 18 Geico 400, the playoff opener of NASCAR’s Sprint Cup series. The Petty folks wanted us to make potential customers aware of their services, which will be offered again at the Joliet track in September and October.

(The package I got retails at $449 — steep, but not when you consider you’re paying to drive a 600-horsepower race car.)

Mostly, though, I came away aware of this: Real drivers have no problem getting close to walls — and what they say is six or eight feet looks like three or four at 130 mph. Cones aren’t laws, but merely suggestions. While pro drivers clearly are required to be skilled and athletic, the cars, when you’re at the wheel, make it seem like you’re not going that fast. Clutches on a Toyota four-banger are touchier (and once you’re off the apron, you’re not using the clutch or the brakes, anyway). Taking a 30 mph freeway ramp at 40 in your SUV feels more dangerous than whipping into a turn in a stock car that feels glued to the road.

And I want to do it again. I know I can get faster.

Mat man

Brandon Precin graduated from Northwestern in the spring, and now the three-time All-American wrestler and Orland Park native is back on campus in Evanston.

On Thursday, Wildcats coach Drew Pariano announced Precin would join his staff as a volunteer assistant. No doubt Precin, twice an IHSA state champion at Sandburg, will be able to use his work at Northwestern to continue training in pursuit of an Olympic berth.

In April, Precin won the 55kg title at the University Nationals, qualifying for the U.S. World Team Trials. There, he struggled, losing to the eventual third-place finisher in wrestlebacks.

If I could pick ...

... any job in the sports world right now, it would have to be as Steve Williams’ literary agent.

Tiger Woods’ ex-caddie is ticked that he was dumped last week after 12 years of service and 18 months of silence on Woods’ romantic missteps. He told a reporter in his native New Zealand there’d be a book forthcoming.

Maybe you’re drooling over what light Williams might shed on the sex scandal, or Woods’ exact relationship with Dr. Anthony Galea, the Canadian physician who treated him and has been connected to steroids.

Me? I want to know what Tiger said, after a couple of pints with Stevie, about Phil Mickelson and Jack Nicklaus. Or the good old boys at the Masters. Fuzzy Zoeller included.